If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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