Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
God I need to hump something, right now.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
