girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Randomize
