This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
