I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
