My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
