You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
