i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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