a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize