He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
