I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
