Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
