dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
