we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
