I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
