ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
