He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
