you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize