but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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