why do cheetos always look like penises
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
How external is "for external use only"?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
