id be glad to
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
