I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
