the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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