ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
