Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
