He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
