covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
