At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
