girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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