guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
