you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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