I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
