if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
