If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
this boner is exhausting
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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