I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Randomize
