love makes seman taste better
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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