Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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