so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How does it feel to date your dad?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
