just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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