Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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