I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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