I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
