the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
