she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
where am i from again
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
