So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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