When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
