I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Rumble strips road head = magical
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
