I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
