worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
