he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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