i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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