Dual....:-)
home. puking in laundry basket.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
