I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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