I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
