Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
