i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
