i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
