Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Randomize
