Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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