just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
