I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
