can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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